How To Be A Vigilante
- 4.2 out of 5
- 431 ratings
- 296 pages
Overall Content Rating: Restricted R
The novel follows an introverted young man in late-1990s England who documents his plan to become a neighborhood vigilante. Most of the text reads as his diary, so parents should expect near-constant profanity, including very frequent strong language, plus bar fights and street beatings with blood and broken bones. Later sections turn much darker, with sustained brutal violence and torture that reviewers flag as hard to read. Dialogue also references sexual assault as something happening in the city and in the narrator’s angry thoughts, and a friend’s lesbian identity becomes an important plot turn. This is a content advisory only, not a quality judgment or recommendation.
Reviews first uploaded October 6, 2026 11:36 am. Revised October 9, 2026 6:15 am. Page updated October 9, 2026 6:15 am.
These summaries are AI-generated from relevant Amazon reviews of this book.
Fbombs Heavy
79Strong four-letter language is woven through much of the book at high volume, including excitement, bullying exchanges, fight scenes, and distressed internal monologue, not only isolated outbursts.
Amazon reviews mentioning swearing
Specific words
- fuck: 76
- fuckin: 3
LGBTQ+ Mild
1A supporting character’s identity as a lesbian is disclosed in dialogue that affects the narrator’s romantic expectations and their friendship.
Amazon reviews mentioning lgbtq
Specific words
- lesbian: 1
Profanity Heavy
59The story is largely told in a first-person journal with constant casual and angry swearing, insults in pub and street arguments, and coarse dismissals of people and situations. Milder expletives appear very often; harsh insults cluster around confrontations and self-reproach.
Amazon reviews mentioning profanity
Specific words
- hell: 25
- shit: 13
- bastard: 9
- bullshit: 6
- dick: 2
- ass: 2
- damn: 1
- goddamn: 1
Sex Moderate
10There is no sampled explicit sexual act on the page. Content includes a brief mention of orgasm in passing, extreme genital-based insults, and repeated talk of rape as a real-world crime, revenge fantasy, or risk the vigilante fails to prevent.
Specific words
- rape: 6
- cunt: 2
- orgasm: 1
- rapist: 1
Violence Heavy
62Physical harm builds through the story: pub brawls, repeated kicking and punching, bloody injuries, a distressing attack involving a young child on the road, and reviewer-described late-book material with prolonged, graphic torture that some readers found sickening.
Amazon reviews mentioning violence
Specific words
- kick: 24
- blood: 19
- bleed: 7
- punch: 7
- smash: 3
- stab: 2
About this book
From the author of the international best-seller The Stone Man, shortlisted for Audible UK's Book of the Year Award 2015 In the late 1990s, a laptop was found in a service station just outside of Manchester. It contained a digital journal entitled 'TO THE FINDER: OPEN NOW TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE!' Now, for the first time, that infamous diary is being published in its entirety. It's 1998. The internet age is still in its infancy. Google has just been founded. Eighteen year old supermarket shelf-stacker Nigel Carmelite has decided that he's going to become a vigilante. There are a few problems: how is he going to even find crime to fight on the streets of Derbyshire? How will he create a superhero costume - and an arsenal of crime-fighting weaponry - on a shoestring budget? And will his history of blackouts and crippling social inadequacy affect his chances? This is Nigel's account of his journey; part diary, part deluded self-help manual, tragically comic and slowly descending into what is arguably Luke Smitherd's darkest and most violent novel. What do you believe in? And more importantly ...should you? PRAISE FOR LUKE SMITHERD'S WRITING: "... a novel that intrigues, enthralls, horrifies, thrills, and hits the reader with an emotional resonance as only the best stories can." - Ain't It Cool News.com ... strong characterization, moral quandaries, mystery, and a whole lot of tense moments. Reading the final sentence was truly a bittersweet moment." - SFsignal.com, Hugo award-winning website "I couldn't help myself and read this is one sitting" - simon211175, Amazon Vine Voice "Fantastically written characters who make you care about them right from the off." - Andy Pettifer "It was one of those books where you tell yourself you will read just one more page, then look at the clock and realise that it's 2 hours later. I would thoroughly recommend it" - Elaine Hosegood "I have owned a Kindle for about 2 years and downloaded some excellent books for very little cost but Luke Smitherd's works beat the lot" - Silversmith, Amazon UK Review "As soon as I started reading I was completely sucked in, which very rarely happens for me. I couldn't wait to get home and read it each night. I laughed. I cried. I did actual real life gasps of horror." - Katie, Amazon Review I spend a lot of time trawling through the kindle book store looking for cheap books, relying on reviews to make my purchases. I have come across some less than average books using this method, but also some real gems. This book definitely falls into the latter category. It had me gripped from page one." - Steve Sut, Amazon UK Review "This story could, probably should, be made into a movie at some point. I honestly have to believe that Smitherd should contact a producer/director and make a fabulous movie deal. Totally enjoyed the read." - Bonnie Gleckler Clark, Goodreads Want to download the first few pages of this book for FREE so that you can try before you buy? Click the 'Send sample now' button on the upper right hand side of this page to do just that! Read more